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Sunday, February 26, 2006

Paradox Of Our Times

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers;
Wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints;
We spend more, but have little;
We buy more and enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families;
More conveniences, but less time;
We have more degrees, but less common sense;
More knowledge, but less judgement;
More experts, but more problems;
More medicine, but less wellness.

We spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
Drive too fast, get too angry too quickly,
Stay up too late, get up too tired, Read too seldom,
Watch TV too much, and don't pray often enough.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom and lie too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life;
We've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back,
But have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.

We've conquered outer space, but not inner space;
We've done larger things, but not better things;
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul;
We've split the atom, but not our prejudice;
We write more, but learn less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait;
We have higher incomes; but lower morals;
More food but less appeasement;
More acquaintances, but fewer friends;
More effort but less success.

We build better computers to hold more information,
Produce more copies than ever, yet have less communication;
We've become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These are the times of fast foods and upset stomachs;
More kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare;
More leisure and less fun;

These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce;
Of fancier houses, but broken homes;
Tall men and short character;
Steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are days of quick trips, throwaway morality,
One-night stands, and pills that do everything from
Cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window,
And nothing in the stockroom.

Think about it.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Kisses

Meanings Of Kisses

Kiss on the hand - I adore you.

Kiss on the cheek - I just want to be friends.

Kiss on the chin - You are cute!

Kiss on the neck - I want you.

Kiss on the lips - I love you.

Kiss on the ears - Let's have some fun.

Kiss anywhere else - You're the best.


Where To Kiss...

Places to Kiss Your Love

  • Behind their ear.
  • Tip of their nose.
  • Back of their neck.
  • Underside of their forearm.
  • Curve of their waist.
  • Palm of their hand.
  • Inside their wrist.
  • Under their chin.
  • Their eyelids.
  • Inside of their ankle.
  • Their collar bone.
  • Tips of their fingers.
  • Their spine.
  • Small of their back.
  • Their tummy.
  • Behind their knees.

Of course, this is just to give you an idea. Aim to shower your love with kisses ALL OVER!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Types Of Kisses

Types Of Kisses

kissing Below you will find a variety of kiss types. If you find some that catch your fancy, feel free to try them :-)

Butterfly Kiss - With your faces less than a breath away, open and close your eyelids against your partners. If done correctly, the fluttering sensation will match the one in your heart.

Cheek Kiss - A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often the preferred kissing method of a first date. With your hands on your partner's shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek.

Earlobe Kiss - Gently sip and suck the earlobe. Avoid louder sucking noises as ears are sensitized noise detectors.

Eskimo Kiss - With your faces less than a breath apart, gently rub your noses together.

Eye Kiss - Hold your partner's head with both hands and slowly move their head in the direction you wish your kiss to go... then slowly kiss up towards your partner's eyes and give them a tender kiss on top of their closed eyes.

Eyelid Kiss - While your partner is resting/sleeping with eyes closed, very very gently kiss the spot right below their browbone. A very intimate kiss.

Finger Kiss - While laying together gently suck on their fingers. This can be very seductive and pleasurable.

Foot Kiss - An erotic and romantic gesture. It may tickle, but relax and enjoy it! To give a toe kiss by gently suck the toes and then lightly kissing the foot. It helps to gently massage the base of the foot while performing the kiss.

Forehead Kiss - The "motherly" kiss or "just friends" kiss. The forehead kiss can be a comforting kiss to anyone. Simply brush your lips lightly across the crown of their head.

Freeze Kiss (or Melt Kiss) - Experiment with this fun kiss. Put a small piece of ice in your mouth, then open mouth and kiss your partner, passing them the ice with your tongue. It's an erotic and sensual french kiss with a twist of cold.

French Kiss - The kiss involving the tongue. Some call this the "Soul Kiss" because the life and soul are thought to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across tongues. Surprisingly, the French call this "The English Kiss".

Fruity Kiss - Take a small piece of fruit and place between your lips (juicy fruits such as grapes, strawberries, small pieces of pineapple or mango are ideal). Kiss your partner and nibble one half of the piece of fruit while they nibble the other until it breaks in half, allowing the juice to run into your mouths.

Hand Kiss - Gently raise her hand to your lips. Lightly brush your lips across the top of her hand. Historically this kiss was performed with a bow, which showed deference to a lady.

Hickey Kiss - The object is not to draw blood, but to gently leave a mark that will prove your interlude was not a dream. This is often included in erotic foreplay.

Hostage Kiss - Cover your lips with tape and get your love's attention. When they come near, make noises like you're trying to tell them something and motion as if you can't get the tape off. Once they remove the tape from you to hear what you're trying to say tell them: "I've been saving my lips all day just for you!" Then kiss your love passionately!

Hot and Cold Kiss - Lick your partner's lips so that they're warm, and then gently blow on them. The sudden cold blast makes for a sensual explosion, and they will often try it on you next, as well as get very passionate.

Mistletoe Kiss - Surprise your lover by capturing them with a gentle holiday kiss under the mistletoe. This is also a good method for shyer individuals to steal a kiss from a potential lover.

Letter Kiss - Send your lover a kiss in a love letter by writing the letter x several times in a row at the bottom of a letter such as XXXXX.

Lick Kiss - Just before kissing, gently run your tongue along you partners lip whether it be the top or bottom one depending on the position of your lips. Very sensual.

Lip Sucking Kiss - When kissing gently suck on their lower lip. This can be very exciting.

Neck Nibble Kiss - Gently nibble up and down your partners neck. End with a gentle kiss on the lips.

Nip Kiss - This kiss can create a very erotic sensation. While kissing your partner, ever so gently nibble on their lips. You must be very careful not to bite to hard or hurt your partner. When done correctly, this kiss ignites wonderful sensations.

Reverse Lips Kiss - It involves standing above your lover and kissing them from over their head. This way, each kisser can take the hyper-sensitive bottom lip of thier lover in their mouths, and GENTLY draw blood to the surface of the lip by nibbling and sucking. A very sensuous, connecting kiss.

Searching The Cavern - Use the lips and tongue to gently tickle and kiss your lover's navel. Vary speeds and stroke to change sensation. Invigorating and intoxicating.

Shoulder Kiss - Simply come from behind, embrace her, and kiss the top of her shoulder. This is a sensual, loving kiss.

Sip Kiss - Take a small sip of your favorite drink. Leaving a little bit of it on your lips, kiss your partner. It is a unique way to create a sensual feeling and your partner will enjoy it.

Talking Kiss - Whisper sweet nothings into your partner's mouth. If caught in the act, simply say as Chico Marx, "I wasn't kissing her. I was whispering into her mouth."

Teaser Kiss - Starting on the forehead, a sweet short kiss on lips, then move up the arms up to her hand, kiss her hand, then come back up her arm, to her face and then lightly kiss her lips till she wants a passionate kiss.

The Buzzing Kiss - Gently place your lips against your lover's neck , behind their ear. Now, send a shudder through their skin by gently growling and humming, vibrating your lips and cheeks as you do so. Move up and down the neck, over the bones of the face and lips. Stimulating and erotic when done correctly.

The Whipped Cream Kiss - Dip your finger into some cool whip or whipped cream of your choice. Lick it off slowly, then embrace your partner and kiss them deeply letting their tongue slip over yours for a wonderfully sweet kiss. It's very seductive and passionate.

Tiger Kiss - Quietly sneak up behind your partner making sure they do not know what you are going to do. Out of the blue, grab them and gently bite their neck. Make sure to get a few good growls in too. This will surely surprise them.

Trickle Kiss - Take a sip of a favourite drink and trickle it slowly into partner's mouth while kissing.

Tongue Sucking - A variation of the French kiss. During an open-mouth kiss gently suck on your partner's tongue (not too hard because it may hurt). Very sexy :-)

Quickie Kiss - When you're in a rush. Often the nose gets it rather than the lips.

Vacuum Kiss - While kissing open-mouthed, slightly suck in as if you were sucking the air from your partners mouth. This is a playful kiss.

Wake Up Kiss - Before your partner awakes lean over and kiss their cheek and move over giving soft kisses until you reach their lips. Definitely a more than pleasant way to wake up!

Virtual Kiss - For Internet lovers. Send an e-card or a kiss via email with this symbol: :-*

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

What's Your Love Story?

In your relationship, are you a cop, a comedian, a prince or a martyr? Robert J. Sternberg, Ph.D., reveals how you can use your "love story" to find your perfect match.

Relationships can be as unpredictable as the most suspense-filled mystery novel. Why do some couples live happily ever after, while others are as star-crossed as Romeo and Juliet? Why do we often seem destined to relive the same romantic mistakes over and over, following the same script with different people in different places, as if the fate of our relationships, from courtship to demise, were written at birth?

Perhaps because, in essence, it is. As much as psychologists have attempted to explain the mysteries of love through scientific laws and theories, it turns out that the best mirrors of the romantic experience may be Wuthering

Heights, Casablanca and General Hospital. At some level, lay people recognize what many psychologists don't: that the love between two people follows a story. If we want to understand love, we have to understand the stories that dictate our beliefs and expectations of love. These stories, which we start to write as children, predict the patterns of our romantic experiences time and time again. Luckily, we can learn to rewrite them.

I came up with the theory of love as a story because I was dissatisfied not only with other people's work on love, but also with my own. I had initially proposed a triangular theory of love, suggesting that it comprises three elements: intimacy, passion and commitment. Different loving relationships have different combinations of these elements. Complete love requires all three elements. But the theory leaves an important question unanswered: what makes a person the kind of lover they are? And what attracts them to other lovers? I had to dig deeper to understand the love's origins. I found them in stories.

My research, which incorporates studies performed over the study showed. But some stories seem to predict doom more than others: the business, collectibles, government, horror, mystery, police ("I believe it is necessary to watch your partner's every move" or "My partner often calls me several times a day to ask what I am doing"), recovery ("I often find myself helping people get their life back in order" or "I need someone to help me recover from my painful past"), science fiction ("I often find myself attracted to individuals who have unusual and strange characteristics") and theater stories ("I think my relationships are like plays" or "I often find myself attracted to partners who play different roles").

How Stories Spin Our Relationships

When you talk to two people who have just split up, their breakup stories often sound like depictions of two completely different relationships. In a sense, they are. Each partner has his or her own story to tell.

Most important to a healthy, happy relationship is that both partners have compatible stories--that is, compatible expectations. Indeed, a 1998 study conducted with Mahzad Hojjat, Ph.D., and Michael Barnes, Ph.D., indicated that the more similar couples' stories were, the happier they were together.

Stories tend to be compatible if they are complementary roles in a single story, such as prince and princess, or if the stories are similar enough that they can be merged into a new and unified story. For example, a fantasy story can merge with a gardening story because one can nourish, or garden, a relationship while dreaming of being rescued by a knight on a white steed. A fantasy and a business story are unlikely to blend, however, because they represent such different ideals--fate-bound princes and princesses don't work at romance!

Of course, story compatibility isn't the only ingredient in a successful relationship. Sometimes, our favorite story can be hazardous to our well-being. People often try to make dangerous or unsatisfying stories come true. Thus, someone who has, say, a horror or recovery story may try to turn a healthy relationship into a Nightmare on Elm Street. People complain that they keep ending up with the same kind of bad partner, that they are unlucky in love. In reality, luck has nothing to do with it: They are subconsciously finding people to play out their love stories, or foisting their stories on the people they meet.

Making Happy Endings

Treating problems in relationships by changing our behaviors and habits ultimately won't work because crisis comes from the story we're playing out. Unless we change our stories, we're past decade with hundreds of couples in Connecticut, as well as ongoing studies, has shown that people describe love in many ways. This description reveals their love story. For example, someone who strongly agrees with the statement "I believe close relationships are like good partnerships" tells a business story; someone who says they end up with partners who scare them--or that they like intimidating their partner--enacts a horror story.

Couples usually start out being physically attracted and having similar interests and values. But eventually, they may notice something missing in the relationship. That something is usually story compatibility. A couple whose stories don't match is like two characters on one stage acting out different plays--they may look right at first glance, but there is an underlying lack of coordination to their interaction.

This is why couples that seem likely to thrive often do not, and couples that seem unlikely to survive sometimes do. Two people may have similar outlooks, but if one longs to be rescued like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and the other wants a partnership like the lawyers on the television show The Practice, the relationship may not go very far. In contrast, two people with a war story like the bickering spouses in Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf may seem wildly incompatible to their friends, but their shared need for combat may be what keeps their love alive.

More than anything, the key to compatibility with a romantic partner is whether our stories match. To change the pattern of our relationships, we must become conscious of our love stories, seek people with compatible tales, and replot conclusions that aren't working for us.

The Beginning of the Story

We start forming our ideas about love soon after birth, based on our inborn personality, our early experiences and our observations of our parents' relationships, as well as depictions of romance in movies, television and books. We then seek to live out these conceptions of love ourselves.

Based on interviews I conducted in the 1990s, asking college students to write about their romantic ideals and expectations, I have identified at least 25 common stories which people use to describe love. (There are probably many more.)

Some stories are far more popular than others. In 1995, one of my students, Laurie Lynch, and I identified some of the most common tales by asking people to rate, on a scale of one to seven, the extent to which a group of statements characterized their relationships. Their highest-ranked statements indicated their personal love story. Among the most popular were the travel story ("I believe that beginning a relationship is like starting a new journey that promises to be both exciting and challenging"), the gardening story ("I believe any relationship that is left unattended will not survive") and the humor story ("I think taking a relationship too seriously can spoil it"). Among the least popular were the horror story ("I find it exciting when I feel my partner is somewhat frightened of me," or "I tend to end up with people who frighten me"), the collectibles story ("I like dating different partners simultaneously; each partner should fit a particular need") and the autocratic government story ("I think it is more efficient if one person takes control of the important decisions in a relationship").

Another study of 43 couples, conducted with Mahzad Hojji, Ph.D., in I996, showed that women prefer the travel story more than men, who prefer the art ("Physical attractiveness is the most essential characteristic I look for in a partner"), collectibles and pornography ("It is very important to be able to gratify all my partner's sexual desires and whims," or "I can never be happy with a partner who is not very adventurous in his or her sex life") stories. Men also prefer the sacrifice story ("I believe sacrifice is a key part of true love"). Originally, we had expected the opposite. Then we realized that the men reported sacrificing things that women did consider significant offerings.

No one story guarantees success, our treating symptoms rather than causes. If we're dissatisfied with our partner, we should look not at his or her faults, but at how he or she fits into our expectations.

To figure out what we want, we need to consider all of our past relationships, and we should ask ourselves what attributes characterized the people to whom we felt most attracted, and what attributes characterized the people in whom we eventually lost interest. We also need to see which romantic tale we aim to tell--and whether or not it has the potential to lead to a "happily ever after" scenario (see quiz, page 55).

Once we understand the ideas and beliefs behind the stories we accept as our own, we can do some replotting. We can ask ourselves what we like and don't like about our current story, what hasn't been working in our relationships, and how we would like to change it. How can we rewrite the scenario? This may involve changing stories, or transforming an existing story to make it more practical. For example, horror stories may be fantasized during sexual or other activity, rather than actually physically played out.

We can change our story by experimenting with new and different plots. Sometimes, psychotherapy can help us to move from perilous stories (such as a horror story) to more promising ones (such as a travel story). Once we've recognized our story--or learned to live a healthy one of our choosing--we can begin to recognize elements of that story in potential mates. Love mirrors stories because it is a story itself. The difference is that we are the authors, and can write ourselves a happy ending.

READ MORE ABOUT IT

Love is a Story, Robert J. Sternberg, Ph.D. (Oxford University Press, 1998)

A Natural History of Love, Diane Ackerman (Random House, 1994

RELATED ARTICLE: Find Your Love Story

Adapted from Love Is A Story by Robert J. Sternberg, Ph.D.

Rate each statement on a scale from 1 to 9, I meaning that it doesn't characterize your romantic relationships at all, 9 meaning that it describes them extremely well. Then average your scores for each story. In general, averaged scores of 7 to 9 are high, indicating a strong attraction to a story, and I to 3 are low, indicating little or no interest in the story. Moderate scores of 4 to 6 indicate some Interest, but probably not enough to generate or keep a romantic interest. Next, evaluate your own love story. (There are 12 listed here; see the book for more.)

STORY #1

1. I enjoy making sacrifices for the sake of my partner.

2. I believe sacrifice is a key part of true love.

3. I often compromise my own comfort to satisfy my partner's needs.

Score: --

The sacrifice story can lead to happy relationships when both partners are content in the roles they are playing, particularly when they both make sacrifices. It is likely to cause friction when partners feel compelled to make sacrifices. Research suggests that relationships of all kinds are happiest when they are roughly equitable. The greatest risk in a sacrifice story is that the give-and-take will become too out of balance, with one partner always being the giver or receiver.

STORY #2

Officer:

1. I believe that you need to keep a close eye on your partner.

2. I believe it is foolish to trust your partner completely.

3. I would never trust my partner to work closely with a person of the opposite sex. Score: --

Suspect:

1. My partner often calls me several times a day to ask exactly what I am doing.

2. My partner needs to know everything that I do.

3. My partner gets very upset if I don't let him or her know exactly where I have been. Score: --

Police stories do not have very favorable prognoses because they can completely detach from reality. The police story may offer some people the feeling of being cared for. People who are very insecure relish the attention that they get as a "suspect," that they are unable to receive in any other way. But they can end up paying a steep price. As the plot thickens, the suspect first begins to lose freedom, then dignity, and then any kind of self-respect. Eventually, the person's mental and even physical well-being may be threatened.

STORY #3

1. I believe that, in a good relationship, partners change and grow together.

2. I believe love is a constant process of discovery and growth.

3. I believe that beginning a relationship is like starting a new journey that promises to be both exciting and challenging, Score: --

Travel stories that last beyond a very short period of time generally have a favorable prognosis, because if the travelers can agree on a destination and path, they are already a long way toward success. If they can't, they often find out quite quickly that they want different things from the relationship and split up. Travel relationships tend to be dynamic and focus on the future. The greatest risk is that over time one or both partners will change the destination or path they desire. When people speak of growing apart, they often mean that the paths they wish to take are no longer the same. In such cases, the relationship is likely to become increasingly unhappy, or even dissolve completely.

STORY #4

Object:

1. The truth is that I don't mind being treated as a sex toy by my partner.

2. It is very important to me to gratify my partner's sexual desires and whims, even if people might view them as debasing.

3. I like it when my partner wants me to try new and unusual, and even painful, sexual techniques. Score: --

Subject:

1. The most important thing to me in my relationship is for my partner to be an excellent sex toy, doing anything I desire.

2. I can never be happy with a partner who is not very adventurous in sex.

3. The truth is that I like a partner who feels like a sex object. Score: --

There are no obvious advantages to the pornography story. The disadvantages are quite dear, however. First, the excitement people attain is through degradation of themselves and others. Second, the need to debase and be debased is likely to keep escalating. Third, once one adopts the story, it may be difficult to adopt another story. Fourth, the story can become physically as well as psychologically dangerous. And finally, no matter how one tries, it is difficult to turn the story into one that's good for psychological or physical well-being.

STORY #5

Terrorizer:

1. I often make sure that my partner knows that I am in charge, even if it makes him or her scared of me.

2. I actually find it exciting when I feel my partner is somewhat frightened of me.

3. I sometimes do things that scare my partner, because I think it is actually good for a relationship to have one partner slightly frightened of the other. Score: --

Victim:

1. I believe it is somewhat exciting to be slightly scared of your partner.

2. I find it arousing when my partner creates a sense of fear in me.

3. I tend to end up with people who sometimes frighten me. Score: --

The horror story probably is the least advantageous of the stories. To some, it may be exciting. But the forms of terror needed to sustain the excitement tend to get out of control and to put their participants, and even sometimes those around them, at both psychological and physical risk. Those who discover that they have this story or are in a relationship that is enacting it would be well-advised to seek counseling, and perhaps even police protection.

STORY #6

Co-dependent:

1. I often end up with people who are facing a specific problem, and I find myself helping them get their life back in order.

2. I enjoy being involved in relationships in which my partner needs my help to get over some problem.

3. I often find myself with partners who need my help to recover from their past. Score: --

Person in recovery:

1. I need someone who will help me recover from my painful past.

2. I believe that a relationship can save me from a life that is crumbling around me.

3. I need help getting over my past. Score: --

The main advantage to the recovery story is that the co-dependent may really help the other partner to recover, so long as the other partner has genuinely made the decision to recover. Many of us know individuals who sought to reform their partners, only to experience total frustration when their partners made little or no effort to reform. At the same time, the co-dependent is someone who needs to feel he or she is helping someone, and gains this feeling of making a difference to someone through the relationship. The problem: Others can assist in recovery, but the decision to recover can only be made by the person in need of recovery. As a result, recovery stories can assist in, but not produce, actual recovery.

STORY #7

1. I believe a good relationship is attainable only if you spend time and energy to care for it, just as you tend a garden.

2. I believe relationships need to be nourished constantly to help weather the ups and downs of life.

3. I believe the secret to a successful relationship is the care that partners take of each other and of their love. Score: --

The biggest advantage of a garden story is its recognition of the importance of nurture. No other story involves this amount of care and attention. The biggest potential disadvantage is that a lack of spontaneity or boredom may develop. People in garden stories are not immune to the lure of extramarital relationships, for example, and may get involved in them to generate excitement, even if they still highly value their primary relationship. In getting involved in other relationships, however, they are putting the primary relationship at risk. Another potential disadvantage is that of smothering--that the attention becomes too much. Just as one can overwater a flower, one can overattend a relationship. Sometimes it's best to let things be and allow nature to take its course.

STORY #8

1. I believe that close relationships are partnerships.

2. I believe that in a romantic relationship, just as in a job, both partners should perform their duties and responsibilities according to their "job description."

3. Whenever I consider having a relationship with someone, I always consider the financial implications of the relation ship as well. Score: --

A business story has several potential advantages, not the least of which is that the bills are more likely to get paid than in other types of relationships. That's because someone is always minding the store. Another potential advantage is that the roles tend to be more dearly defined than in other relationships. The partners are also in a good position to "get ahead" in terms of whatever it is that they want. One potential disadvantage occurs if only one of the two partners sees their relationship as a business story. The other partner may quickly become bored and look for interest and excitement outside the marriage. The story can also turn sour if the distribution of authority does not satisfy one or both partners. If the partners cannot work out mutually compatible roles, they may find themselves spending a lot of time fighting for position. It is important to maintain the option of flexibility.

STORY #9

1. I think fairy tales about relationships can come tree.

2. I do believe that there is someone out there for me who is my perfect match.

3. I like my relationships to be ones in which I view my partner as something like a prince or princess in days of yore. Score: --

The fantasy story can be a powerful one. The individual may feel swept up in the emotion of the search for the perfect partner or of developing the perfect relationship with an existing partner. It is probably no coincidence that in literature most fantasy stories take place before or outside of marriage: Fantasies are hard to maintain when one has to pay the bills, pack the children off to school and resolve marital fights. To maintain the happy feeling of the fantasy, therefore, one has to ignore, to some extent, the mundane aspects of life. The potential disadvantages of file fantasy relationship are quite plain. The greatest is the possibility for disillusionment when one partner discovers that no one could fulfill the fantastic expectations that have been created. This can lead partners to feel dissatisfied with relationships that most others would view as quite successful. If a couple can create a fantasy story based on realistic rather than idealistic ideals, they have the potential for success; if they want to be characters in a myth, chances are that's exactly what they'll get: a myth.

STORY #10

1. I think it is more interesting to argue than to compromise.

2. I think frequent arguments help bring conflictive issues into the open and keep the relationship healthy.

3. I actually like to fight with my partner. Score: --

The war story is advantageous in a relationship only when both partners clearly share it and want the same thing. In these cases, threats of divorce and worse may be common, but neither partner would seriously dream of leaving: They're both having too much fun, in their own way. The major disadvantage, of course, is that the story often isn't shared, leading to intense and sustained conflict that can leave the partner without the war story feeling devastated much of the time. People can find themselves in a warring relationship without either of them having war as a preferred story. In such cases, the constant fighting may make both partners miserable. If the war continues in such a context, there is no joy in it for either partner.

STORY #11

Audience:

1. I like a partner who is willing to think about the funny side of our conflicts.

2. I think taking a relationship too seriously can spoil it; that's why I like partners who have a sense of humor.

3. I like a partner who makes me laugh whenever we are facing a tense situation in our relationship. Score: --

Comedian:

1. I admit that I sometimes try to use humor to avoid facing a problem in my relationship.

2. I like to use humor when I have a conflict with my partner because I believe there is a humorous side to any conflict.

3. When I disagree with my partner, I often try to make a joke out of it. Score:_ --

The humor story can have one enormous advantage: Most situations do have a lighter side, and people with this story are likely to see it. When things in a relationship become tense, sometimes nothing works better than a little humor, especially if it comes from within the relationship. Humor stories also allow relationships to be creative and dynamic. But the humor story also has some potential disadvantages. Probably the greatest one is the risk of using humor to deflect important issues: A serious conversation that needs to take place keeps getting put off with jokes. Humor can also be used to be cruel in a passive-aggressive way. When humor is used as a means of demeaning a person to protect the comedian from responsibility ("I was only joking"), a relationship is bound to be imperiled. Thus, moderate amounts are good for a relationship, but excessive amounts can be deleterious.

STORY #12

1. I think it is okay to have multiple partners who fulfill my different needs.

2. I sometimes like to think about how many people I could potentially date all at the same time.

3. I tend and like to have multiple intimate partners at once, each fulfilling somewhat different roles. Score: --

There are a few advantages to a collection story. For one thing, the collector generally cares about the collectible's physical well-being, as appearance is much of what makes a collection shine. The collector also finds a way of meeting multiple needs. Usually those needs will be met in parallel--by having several intimate relationships at the same time--but a collector may also enter into serial monogamous relationships, where each successive relationship meets needs that the last relationship did not meet. In a society that values monogamy, collection stories work best if they do not become serious or if individuals in the collection are each viewed in different lights, such as friendship or intellectual stimulation. The disadvantages of this story become most obvious when people are trying to form serious relationships. The collector may find it difficult to establish intimacy, or anything approaching a complete relationship and commitment toward a single individual. Collections can also become expensive, time-consuming, and in some cases illegal (as when an individual enters into multiple marriages simultaneously).

Robert J. Sternberg is IBM Professor of Psychology and Education in the department of psychology at Yale University.

COPYRIGHT 2000 Sussex Publishers, Inc.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group

(from: http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1175/is_4_33/ai_63125140)

Monday, February 20, 2006

101 love sayings and quotations

101 love sayings and quotations - large collection of cute SMS love greeting, quotes sayings to send on your mobile phone

love sayings

A good love is delicious because you can't get enough too soon.

A smile to put you on high... A kiss to set your soul alright...Would it be alright if I spent tonight being loved by you?

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.

All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!

Don't forget to love yourself.

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much.

I see you in every passing face

I'll love you till the cows come home.

If love were a movie, you'd be a box office hit!

It's a rainy day when you're not around

Let love be your greatest aim.

Life is the flower for which love is the honey.

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness.

Love is to think about someone else more times in a day than you think about yourself.

Love makes everything lovely.

Love makes life so confusing but without love would you want to live?

Love teaches even asses to dance.

Love without return is like a question without an answer

Love your enemies. It really pisses them off!

Love: Two minds without a single thought.

Lovers, like bees, lead a honey-sweet life.


love quotations

Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Goethe.

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved. - George Elliot

LOVE: The irresistable desire to be irresistibly desired. - Mark Twain

The first duty of love - is to listen. - Paul Tillich

One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love. - Sophocles

How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?" - Albert Einstien

Life is a flower of which love is the honey. - Victor Hugo

Love is friendship set to music. - E. Joseph Crossmann

At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. - Plato

Love is a great beautifier. - Louisa May Alcott

In our life there is a single color, as on an artist`s palette, which provides the meaning of life and art. It is the color of love. - Marc Chagall

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. - Einstein.

I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see you, this flame lights up, this flame is special for you, because I LOVE YOU!

Love is being stupid together.

Love is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction.

Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

No one is too young for love, because love doesn't come from your mind, which knows your age, but from your heart, which knows no age.

Love conquers all. - Virgil.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

A Lover's Complaint

A Lover's Complaint
by William Shakespeare

From off a hill whose concave womb reworded
A plaintful story from a sist'ring vale,
My spirits t'attend this double voice accorded,
And down I laid to list the sad-tuned tale,
Ere long espied a fickle maid full pale,
Tearing of papers, breaking rings atwain,
Storming her world with sorrow's wind and rain.

Upon her head a platted hive of straw,
Which fortified her visage from the sun,
Whereon the thought might think sometime it saw
The carcase of a beauty spent and done.
Time had not scythed all that youth begun,
Nor youth all quit, but spite of heaven's fell rage
Some beauty peeped through lattice of seared age.

Oft did she heave her napkin to her eyne,
Which on it had conceited characters,
Laund'ring the silken figures in the brine
That seasoned woe had pelleted in tears,
And often reading what contents it bears;
As often shrieking undistinguished woe
In clamours of all size, both high and low.

Sometimes her levelled eyes their carriage ride
As they did batt'ry to the spheres intend;
Sometime diverted their poor balls are tied
To th'orbed earth; sometimes they do extend
Their view right on; anon their gazes lend
To every place at once, and nowhere fixed,
The mind and sight distractedly commixed.

Her hair, nor loose nor tied in formal plait,
Proclaimed in her a careless hand of pride;
For some, untucked, descended her sheaved hat,
Hanging her pale and pined cheek beside;
Some in her threaden fillet still did bide,
And, true to bondage, would not break from thence,
Though slackly braided in loose negligence.

A thousand favours from a maund she drew
Of amber, crystal, and of beaded jet,
Which one by one she in a river threw,
Upon whose weeping margent she was set;
Like usury applying wet to wet,
Or monarch's hands that lets not bounty fall
Where want cries some, but where excess begs all.

Of folded schedules had she many a one,
Which she perused, sighed, tore, and gave the flood;
Cracked many a ring of posied gold and bone,
Bidding them find their sepulchres in mud;
Found yet moe letters sadly penned in blood,
With sleided silk feat and affectedly
Enswathed and sealed to curious secrecy.

These often bathed she in her fluxive eyes,
And often kissed, and often 'gan to tear;
Cried "O false blood, thou register of lies,
What unapproved witness dost thou bear!
Ink would have seemed more black and damned here!"
This said, in top of rage the lines she rents,
Big discontent so breaking their contents.

A reverend man that grazed his cattle nigh,
Sometime a blusterer that the ruffle knew
Of court, of city, and had let go by
The swiftest hours observed as they flew,
Towards this afflicted fancy fastly drew,
And, privileged by age, desires to know
In brief the grounds and motives of her woe.

So slides he down upon his grained bat,
And comely distant sits he by her side,
When he again desires her, being sat,
Her grievance with his hearing to divide.
If that from him there may be aught applied
Which may her suffering ecstasy assuage,
'Tis promised in the charity of age.

"Father," she says "though in me you behold
The injury of many a blasting hour,
Let it not tell your judgement I am old:
Not age, but sorrow over me hath power.
I might as yet have been a spreading flower,
Fresh to myself, if I had self-applied
Love to myself, and to no love beside.

"But, woe is me! too early I attended
A youthful suit -it was to gain my grace -
O, one by nature's outwards so commended
That maidens' eyes stuck over all his face.
Love lacked a dwelling and made him her place;
And when in his fair parts she did abide
She was new-lodged and newly deified.

"His browny locks did hang in crooked curls,
And every light occasion of the wind
Upon his lips their silken parcels hurls.
What's sweet to do, to do will aptly find:
Each eye that saw him did enchant the mind,
For on his visage was in little drawn
What largeness thinks in Paradise was sawn.

"Small show of man was yet upon his chin;
His phoenix down began but to appear,
Like unshorn velvet, on that termless skin,
Whose bare outbragged the web it seemed to wear;
Yet showed his visage by that cost more dear,
And nice affections wavering stood in doubt
If best were as it was, or best without.

"His qualities were beauteous as his form,
For maiden-tongued he was, and thereof free;
Yet, if men moved him, was he such a storm
As oft twixt May and April is to see,
When winds breathe sweet, unruly though they be.
His rudeness so with his authorized youth
Did livery falseness in a pride of truth.

"Well could he ride, and often men would say
`That horse his mettle from his rider takes:
Proud of subjection, noble by the sway,
What rounds, what bounds, what course, what stop he makes!'
And controversy hence a question takes,
Whether the horse by him became his deed,
Or he his manage by th' well-doing steed.

"But quickly on this side the verdict went:
His real habitude gave life and grace
To appertainings and to ornament,
Accomplished in himself, not in his case.
All aids, themselves made fairer by their place,
Came for additions; yet their purposed trim
Pieced not his grace, but were all graced by him.

"So on the tip of his subduing tongue
All kind of arguments and question deep,
All replication prompt, and reason strong,
For his advantage still did wake and sleep.
To make the weeper laugh, the laugher weep,
He had the dialect and different skill,
Catching all passions in his craft of will,

"That he did in the general bosom reign
Of young, of old, and sexes both enchanted,
To dwell with him in thoughts, or to remain
In personal duty, following where he haunted.
Consents bewitched, ere he desire, have granted,
And dialogued for him what he would say,
Asked their own wills, and made their wills obey.

"Many there were that did his picture get
To serve their eyes, and in it put their mind;
Like fools that in th'imagination set
The goodly objects which abroad they find
Of lands and mansions, theirs in thought assigned,
And labour in moe pleasures to bestow them
Than the true gouty landlord which doth owe them.

"So many have, that never touched his hand,
Sweetly supposed them mistress of his heart.
My woeful self, that did in freedom stand,
And was my own fee-simple, not in part,
What with his art in youth, and youth in art,
Threw my affections in his charmed power,
Reserved the stalk and gave him all my flower.

"Yet did I not, as some my equals did,
Demand of him, nor being desired yielded;
Finding myself in honour so forbid,
With safest distance I mine honour shielded.
Experience for me many bulwarks builded
Of proofs new-bleeding, which remained the foil
Of this false jewel and his amorous spoil.

"But ah, who ever shunned by precedent
The destined ill she must herself assay?
Or forced examples 'gainst her own content
To put the by-past perils in her way?
Counsel may stop awhile what will not stay,
For when we rage, advice is often seen
By blunting us to make our wills more keen.

"Nor gives it satisfaction to our blood
That we must curb it upon others' proof,
To be forbod the sweets that seems so good
For fear of harms that preach in our behoof.
O appetite, from judgement stand aloof!
The one a palate hath that needs will taste,
Though reason weep, and cry `It is thy last'.

"For further I could say this man's untrue,
And knew the patterns of his foul beguiling;
Heard where his plants in others' orchards grew;
Saw how deceits were gilded in his smiling;
Knew vows were ever brokers to defiling;
Thought characters and words merely but art,
And bastards of his foul adulterate heart.

"And long upon these terms I held my city,
Till thus he 'gan besiege me: `Gentle maid,
Have of my suffering youth some feeling pity,
And be not of my holy vows afraid.
That's to ye sworn to none was ever said;
For feasts of love I have been called unto,
Till now did ne'er invite nor never woo.

" `All my offences that abroad you see
Are errors of the blood, none of the mind;
Love made them not; with acture they may be,
Where neither party is nor true nor kind.
They sought their shame that so their shame did find;
And so much less of shame in me remains
By how much of me their reproach contains.

" `Among the many that mine eyes have seen,
Not one whose flame my heart so much as warmed,
Or my affection put to th' smallest teen,
Or any of my leisures ever charmed.
Harm have I done to them, but ne'er was harmed;
Kept hearts in liveries, but mine own was free,
And reigned commanding in his monarchy.

" `Look here what tributes wounded fancies sent me
Of pallid pearls and rubies red as blood,
Figuring that they their passions likewise lent me
Of grief and blushes, aptly understood
In bloodless white and the encrimsoned mood -
Effects of terror and dear modesty,
Encamped in hearts, but fighting outwardly.

" `And lo, behold these talents of their hair,
With twisted metal amorously impleached,
I have received from many a several fair,
Their kind acceptance weepingly beseeched,
With the annexions of fair gems enriched,
And deep-brained sonnets that did amplify
Each stone's dear nature, worth, and quality.

" `The diamond? -why, 'twas beautiful and hard,
Whereto his invised properties did tend;
The deep-green em'rald, in whose fresh regard
Weak sights their sickly radiance do amend;
The heaven-hued sapphire and the opal blend
With objects manifold: each several stone,
With wit well blazoned, smiled or made some moan.

" `Lo, all these trophies of affections hot,
Of pensived and subdued desires the tender,
Nature hath charged me that I hoard them not,
But yield them up where I myself must render -
That is to you, my origin and ender;
For these, of force, must your oblations be,
Since I their altar, you enpatron me.

" `O then advance of yours that phraseless hand,
Whose white weighs down the airy scale of praise.
Take all these similes to your own command,
Hallowed with sighs that burning lungs did raise.
What me your minister, for you obeys,
Works under you, and to your audit comes
Their distract parcels in combined sums.

" `Lo, this device was sent me from a nun,
A sister sanctified, of holiest note,
Which late her noble suit in court did shun,
Whose rarest havings made the blossoms dote;
For she was sought by spirits of richest coat,
But kept cold distance, and did thence remove
To spend her living in eternal love.

" `But, O my sweet, what labour is't to leave
The thing we have not, mast'ring what not strives,
Planing the place which did no form receive,
Playing patient sports in unconstrained gyves!
She that her fame so to herself contrives,
The scars of battle scapeth by the flight,
And makes her absence valiant, not her might.

" `O pardon me, in that my boast is true!
The accident which brought me to her eye
Upon the moment did her force subdue,
And now she would the caged cloister fly:
Religious love put out religion's eye.
Not to be tempted, would she be immured,
And now to tempt, all liberty procured.

" `How mighty then you are, O hear me tell!
The broken bosoms that to me belong
Have emptied all their fountains in my well,
And mine I pour your ocean all among.
I strong o'er them, and you o'er me being strong,
Must for your victory us all congest,
As compound love to physic your cold breast.

" `My parts had power to charm a sacred nun,
Who, disciplined, ay, dieted in grace,
Believed her eyes when they t'assail begun,
All vows and consecrations giving place.
O most potential love! -vow, bond, nor space,
In thee hath neither sting, knot, nor confine,
For thou art all, and all things else are thine.

" `When thou impressest, what are precepts worth
Of stale example? When thou wilt inflame,
How coldly those impediments stand forth,
Of wealth, of filial fear, law, kindred, fame!
Love's arms are peace, 'gainst rule, 'gainst sense, 'gainst shame;
And sweetens, in the suff'ring pangs it bears,
The aloes of all forces, shocks, and fears.

" `Now all these hearts that do on mine depend,
Feeling it break, with bleeding groans they pine,
And supplicant their sighs to you extend,
To leave the batt'ry that you make 'gainst mine,
Lending soft audience to my sweet design,
And credent soul to that strong-bonded oath
That shall prefer and undertake my troth.'

"This said, his wat'ry eyes he did dismount,
Whose sights till then were levelled on my face;
Each cheek a river running from a fount
With brinish current downward flowed apace.
O how the channel to the stream gave grace!
Who glazed with crystal gate the glowing roses
That flame through water which their hue encloses.

"O father, what a hell of witchcraft lies
In the small orb of one particular tear!
But with the inundation of the eyes
What rocky heart to water will not wear?
What breast so cold that is not warmed here?
O cleft effect! Cold modesty, hot wrath,
Both fire from hence and chill extincture hath.

"For lo, his passion, but an art of craft,
Even there resolved my reason into tears;
There my white stole of chastity I daffed,
Shook off my sober guards and civil fears;
Appear to him as he to me appears,
All melting; though our drops this diff'rence bore:
His poisoned me, and mine did him restore.

"In him a plenitude of subtle matter,
Applied to cautels, all strange forms receives,
Of burning blushes or of weeping water,
Or swooning paleness; and he takes and leaves,
In either's aptness, as it best deceives,
To blush at speeches rank, to weep at woes,
Or to turn white and swoon at tragic shows,

"That not a heart which in his level came
Could scape the hail of his all-hurting aim,
Showing fair nature is both kind and tame;
And, veiled in them, did win whom he would maim.
Against the thing he sought he would exclaim;
When he most burned in heart-wished luxury
He preached pure maid and praised cold chastity.

"Thus merely with the garment of a grace
The naked and concealed fiend he covered,
That th'unexperient gave the tempter place,
Which like a cherubin above them hovered.
Who, young and simple, would not be so lovered?
Ay me, I fell; and yet do question make
What I should do again for such a sake.

"O, that infected moisture of his eye,
O, that false fire which in his cheek so glowed,
O, that forced thunder from his heart did fly,
O, that sad breath his spongy lungs bestowed,
O, all that borrowed motion, seeming owed,
Would yet again betray the fore-betrayed,
And new pervert a reconciled maid."

William Shakespeare

William Shakespeare
1564 - 1616

English poet and dramatist. His plays were performed rather than published so it is difficult to know the order they were written in. It seems likely that the Henry VI plays came first (late 1580s). The Taming of the Shrew, The Comedy of Errors and Love's Labour's Lost are all thought to be 1595, A Midsummer Night's Dream and The Merchant of Venice were both printed in 1600, Othello (1604), King Lear seems to date from 1605, Macbeth from 1606, Cymbeline, The Winter's Tale and The Tempest all probably 1611. The Sonnets were written in the mid-1590s but appeared only in 1609.

Shakespeare is seen as the greatest English dramatist of all time and his work has influenced generations of later artists of all sorts.


Phoenix and the Turtle, The
by William Shakespeare


Let the bird of loudest lay,
On the sole Arabian tree,
Herald sad and trumpet be,
To whose sound chaste wings obey.

But thou shrieking harbinger,
Foul precurrer of the fiend,
Augur of the fever's end,
To this troop come thou not near!

From this session interdict
Every fowl of tyrant wing,
Save the eagle, feathered king:
Keep the obsequy so strict.

Let the priest in surplice white,
That defunctive music can,
Be the death-divining swan,
Lest the requiem lack his right.

And thou treble-dated crow,
That thy sable gender mak'st
With the breath thou giv'st and tak'st,
'Mongst our mourners shalt thou go.

Here the anthem doth commence:
Love and constancy is dead,
Phoenix and the turtle fled
In a mutual flame from hence.

So they loved as love in twain
Had the essence but in one;
Two distincts, division none;
Number there in love was slain.

Hearts remote, yet not asunder;
Distance, and no space was seen
'Twixt this turtle and his queen;
But in them it were a wonder.

So between them love did shine
That the turtle saw his right
Flaming in the phoenix' sight;
Either was the other's mine.

Property was thus appalled,
That the self was not the same;
Single nature's double name
Neither two nor one was called.

Reason, in itself confounded,
Saw division grow together,
To themselves yet either neither;
Simple were so well compounded;

That it cried, "How true a twain
Seemeth this concordant one!
Love hath reason, reason none,
If what parts can so remain."

Whereupon it made this threne
To the phoenix and the dove,
Co-supremes and stars of love,
As chorus to their tragic scene.

Threnos

Beauty, truth, and rarity
Grace in all simplicity,
Here enclosed in cinders lie.

Death is now the phoenix' nest;
And the turtle's loyal breast
To eternity doth rest,

Leaving no posterity
'Twas not their infirmity,
It was married chastity.

Truth may seem, but cannot be;
Beauty brag, but 'tis not she:
Truth and Beauty buried be.

To this urn let those repair
That are either true or fair;
For these dead birds sigh a prayer.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Lost Love Poems

Love is a Universal emotion, the goal we all seek, the prize that can make our lives complete and whole. Love is both timeless and, in too many instances, transient. These poems are about those times.

We all believe, if only because we must, that love can be found. Some of us - maybe most of us - have discovered it can also be lost.

Slow Tears
by Martini

I look up
as a tear rolls slowly
down my cheek
I think about better days
and wonder if I'll feel that way again
you look at me
with those eyes I know so well
always serious, so deep and insightful
as though you're always in control
But not today
not now
Now you look so scared
like for once you don't have the answer
I gaze at you
looking deep into those hazel eyes
Hoping to understand
why you've said those things you did
I wonder for a moment
if this is all a dream
if I shall wake in the morning
and be relieved
you look at me
with a confusion I have never seen
slowly pull me towards you
and wipe the tears from my cheek


Seek Not My Heart
by Kit McCallum

Oh gentle winds 'neath moonlit skies,
Do not you hear my heartfelt cries?

Below the branches, here about,
Do not you sense my fear and doubt?
Side glistening rivers, sparkling streams,
Do not you hear my woeful screams?

Upon the meadows, touched with dew,
Do not you see my hearts a'skew?
Beneath the thousand twinkling stars,
Do not you feel my jagged scars?

Seek not my mournful heart kind breeze,
For you'll not find it 'mongst these trees.

It's scattered 'cross the moonlit skies,
Accompanied by heartfelt sighs.
It's drifting o're the gentle rain,
A symbol of my silent pain.

It's buried 'neath the meadow fair,
Conjoined with all the sorrow there.
It's lost among the stars this night,
Too far to ease my quiet fright.

No gentle winds, seek not my heart,
For simply ... it has torn apart.


Our Love
by jenawin

our love is a
wasteland
of
promises in vain

of past
of present
of future
nothing

rotting
quietly
in my palms


My Love Left On A Saturday
by Michael Perez

My belt loosens slowly.
Reminders of you stay fresh
in murky ponds of suffocating tadpoles.
Wake me in the morning,
when the sun shines again.
It's frightening when all I know
falls apart.
And all I know is you.
Hunger squeezes me tighter.
My soul sags with exhaustion.
Ashtrays fill with sleepless nights.
Weeping intensifies my anxiety.
Can tomorrow come without you...
here today?
The cheap chandelier falls on my face.
The rose filled lamp explodes in my hands.
Pain is unrecognizable.
All I knew was you.
You.
My love.


To My Valentine

by Saxoness

Once upon
A time
There was
Truth to the
Myth of what
You
And I
Had found
In a blank paged
Fairy tale.

Snow White
Doesn't sleep
In a casket made of
Glass
Slippers will break
If you wear them.

Walk across this
Written word
With fingers
Gently
Seeking
Loving
You
And me
No more.

He loves
Me
He loves me!
Not
Enough.

To:
My Valentine
Will you
Be mine
No longer . . .


Imagination
by Stymie63

Locked in my cage, I stare at the emptiness;
this very emptiness possesses my soul -
we are one.

The months pass, as do the years,
yet as time progresses, it loses all relevance.
I sit here trapped in a recurring nightmare, never to awaken.
I feed on my own self-pity -
I never hunger. I merely exist,
captive in this asylum, biding my time;
my sole gratification, inebriated isolation.

The door to my cage is ajar, as is often the case,
yet it's pointless to leave;
each journey leads me back
to this God-forsaken realm of suffering and despair.

Long ago, I was free;
I remember faces, smiling faces.
A different me, in a different time -
it was a time of fulfillment, of togetherness, of love.
Then one day the fantasy ended, and I was here . . .
but enough about the past; I must face my reality.

Distant voices race through my head,
as I stave off insanity.
But this time, the voice is real.
Unsure of its origin, I feel my soul is not as cold; my burden lighter.
Though I smile, I soon shiver in frustration.
Tears stream down my cheeks,
as I cannot deny that the other voice is my own,
as my rationality succumbs to my imagination.


Alone
by Moondust

Purity once had a name,
And beauty once had a face.
Life once had a meaning,
And once I was safe.
Once there was freedom,
And once I could laugh.
Happiness once was alive,
And once I had another half.
Once I shared her love,
Once I was by her side,
Once I felt I fitted,
So quickly that died.
Her grace so great,
Her beauty so vast,
All I ever wanted,
Was for it to last.
Fate maybe had another plan,
Or maybe she had another love,
But it all fell apart,
The hand too big for the glove.
Now it's all died away,
Happiness, joy, love; all memories.
Now I walk alone in this dark, dark world,
With no light to guide my way.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Cyber Romance Poems

The Internet is more than a cooperation of computers. It's a cooperation between people. And where people meet, even anonymously, it seems that Romance and Love will enter the equation as well.

If you're like me, you probably think falling in love over a modem is unusual and perhaps even rare. But, like me, you would be wrong. Perhaps the very nature of a web site devoted to poetry brings these couples to the fore, but I have been amazed at the number of people I've met through Passions that have found their significant other on-line. Some have met through email, some through chat or forums, some through personal ads. All have found a connection, that elusive thing that binds them to another human being.


Where R U On ICQ

by Tekkobra

Upon this line I found you,
on a little proggie called ICQ,

this ocean called the internet,
you threw me an electronic net.

now you have me and what r you to do?
will you keep me locked away in ICQ?

braving the dangers and the threat,
will I c u is that what u choose?

or will I remain just a name,
and you hidden from me just the same.

Can we realize such a dream,
or always disconnect so safe, so clean...


Scrolling
by Mas-ash

Was it the words that made me think about him all night
or was it the smile that he brought to my face when I saw the E- Mail
message that seem to shine so bright.

Yes I feel so confused, How could it be?
He stole my Heart away with the stroke of his computer keys.
We chat, we talk its just not the same, there should be no reason I get so
excited when I see his chat name.
We are in a private room, designed for two, sometimes I think they
designed one especially for me and you.
We are chatting for hours when I realize, oops, I'm on the computer, I was
lost there for a while, but His words they really make me smile.

Communications is the key to unlock my heart,
It's funny the computer has enable to get thus far.
Cyber space is strange and that is true,
But guess what - It Scrolled My Heart a Road Directly to you


Love On The Internet
by Dove

Though I wasn't looking for anyone new,
One day I got e- mail and in it was you.
Charming, sensitive and so debonair,
I strongly resisted it go anywhere.

But letters and stories captured my heart,
Filled me with passion almost from the start.
Love on the Internet, how could it be?
These things just don't happen to people like me.

But doves and butterflies flew into our lives,
Carrying messages we could not deny.
Each person has meaning and love to express,
And we could deny our hearts nothing less.

It's a beautiful love that has grown between us,
Something beyond any words we discuss.
Much deeper than LOL, cyber kisses and such,
Far down to our souls, beyond human touch.

My love's not confined by what it can see,
I feel you, I taste you, I experience your dream.
Close my eyes, and I envision what in my heart I can hear,
"Love knows no boundaries, no distance, no fear."

It's the soul that captures God's love in a way
That eternally melts hearts together to stay.
Fused and sealed forever as one,
Love has its way and new life is begun.


Every Night
by Michelle

Every night, when I lay me down to sleep,
I want to reach over, to feel your lips so sweet.
Although I know I cannot be there,
You will always keep me from having any fear.

The sheets are very cold;
I feel like I'm in a huge hole.
What if we never meet?
Would my life be any better yet?

I long for the day we lock eyes;
I want you to be surprised.
As much as you may imagine what I'll be,
I can only be me.

So every night, when I lay me down to sleep,
You are in my mind with me.
And right before I fall asleep,
I wish upon that star for you to be with me.


Meeting Half Way
by Hope

Your message came through to me
It said please meet me half way
Its just what you have dreamed of
I have found us a place to stay

It's a snug cozy country cottage
So serene in the morning mist
The more I read the message
I now knew I could not resist

Nothing more now need be said
Message all read , I had to depart
You have captured my sweetest dream
You're like a magnet within my heart

There you held roses at the gate
Then you poured the sweetest wine
Fulfilling promises we had made
As your body enfolded mine

Roses scattered in pink and red
On the bed you lay next to me
Yearnings and dreams we have had
Now our passions were flowing free

Morning awakened in your arms
We glanced the first light of day
Thanked you for fulfilling my dreams
We must meet more often half way


In The Shadows
by Asil Nomrah

In the shadows, emotion provides
Moonlight - illumination for a larger world
(Population: 2)
Side by side
Split - apart
Reuniting
Despite jealous daytime gods

Lips touch mine in the shadows
Touches flow across the stream
Data bubbles caress my nerve endings
Like a million tiny kisses
Vibrating neuron pathways
A fiery display of colored lights
The firmament of my skull
My flesh grows insubstantial and seeks
The Maestro of this interplay
His spacious reach a sanctuary
And release in this corporeal prison
I am putty, a doll, in his arms

My shadow Maestro
Conductor in this symphony
Of passion play
"Every woman" the conduit
For his extraordinary power
Calling forth primal urges
with modern alchemical implements

Joining across the ages
Past and Present
Pain and Love
Side by side
Split - apart
Reuniting
In the shadows


Stretch Forth Your Hand
by Sandy

Stretch forth your hand and hold to mine
as through this fog we go.
Endless as night in a borrowed dream
of one lost and deep in sorrow...

I see you not and I hear not your voice,
and yet I feel you so nearby.
It's just a dream - yes, always a dream -
unreachable for even you and I...

I know that I shall never know
why I met you this way.
Carrying this cross of burden along
knowing that here alone I must stay...

I cannot know, nor ever will see
why this path I know I need walk.
Without you here by my side to touch
and never given the chance to talk...

I close my eyes now and try to see
the reason why you have been.
A burning fire, an unquenchable desire
and so much more than just a friend...

A weight of pure sadness presses my soul
and tears flow where I cannot see.
For what I've so wanted and couldn't have
and what I knew never could be...

It was you who would visit my dreams
and you were unreachable for me then.
I was but a small child when I saw you,
but I knew I'd find you, my friend...

I was so sure when I was young that
when I did find you you'd be mine.
The thought never did enter my mind
that it would come too late in time...

I sit here with tears and
cannot think quite clear of what I
wanted to say. I just want you to know
that I never did doubt,
Yes... That I would find you again
Someday...


adapted from: http://www.netpoets.com

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Love Poems

What is a love poem? Is it necessarily a poem about romantic love? About romance? Marriage and commitment? Or is a love poem something else entirely?

In a recent short story I wrote, a writer is told by a young critic that he doesn't understand love. "It's neither noble nor eternal, as you would have your audience believe," she says.

"Nobody understands love," the writer admits. "It seems to be Universal. Timeless. Yet, it's also very individual, filtered by our own lives and expectations. I don't understand love, and can't understand love, because it's a different thing for each of us."

These love poems are Universal. Timeless. And yet very much a different thing for each of us. We hope you enjoy them...


Can You See It In My Eyes?
by Sandy Fioretti

You don't know how I'm feeling.
I have yet to vocalize
Desire deep inside me.
Can you see it in my eyes?

I tremble when I'm near you
Heat travels up my thighs
and I want you with an urgency
That I just can't describe.

Dare I reach out to touch you?
Do you think you'd realize
How much I want and need you?
Can you see it in my eyes?

I long to say, "I love you,"
But am scared of your reply.
Terrified like a child
I've become paralyzed.

The camouflaged emotions
Lead to pain and silent cries.
And yet I just can't tell you.
Don't you see it in my eyes?

Confessing through this poem
My dilemma summarized.
The feeling's quite cathartic,
But will lead to my demise.


My Love
by Missy Anderson

Staring at a blank screen
waiting for your arrival
but you never come.
How could you leave me like this
alone in a world so cold
You told me you loved me with all your heart
I should have known from the very start
that our love would come to a bitter end.
I will remain waiting for you, though,
staring through my teary eyes
and hoping for an I.M. that will never come
knowing that I am just a figment from your past
and that this is really the end.


My Heart Believes In You
by Stewart Bradshaw

I kept my head up high,
and then you came my way.
I have been hurt so many times.
My heart filled with so much pain.
but now that pain has gone away.
For I have found a place I want to be.
This place I see is with thee.
For in your arms I have felt and seen,
a wonderful feeling that I cannot believe.
A safe haven in your arms just for me.
Now I give my heart to thee.
For my heart believes in you.


My Angel
by Boardman

There was a short time in my life
When my problems were more than my ex-wife
When all of a sudden this angel popped in
It was love at first site you could tell by my grin

Her hair was as golden as the brightest summer sun
For a while there, I was actually having fun
Her eyes were as blue as the purest blue ocean
And comfortable I was even without any motion

My Angel, I wanted to keep her

When we were together I had no more pain
Her beauty was breathtaking please let me explain
With her in my arms I melted like ice
She was gorgeous and smart and incredibly nice

Well now that you know the way that I felt
Let me tell you about the hand I was dealt
She came with her friend who was not even dating
And then she flew home to her boyfriend who was waiting

My Angel, I wanted to keep her
Oh Well!


To My Best Friend?
by Shannbodan

This is for the greatest person
that I have ever known.
Being away from you for so long
I am feeling so alone.
With you I am so happy
you keep my heart content.
But I had to be a volunteer -
so off to England I went.
That is where I found my heart
and how I feel for you.
I try so hard to deny this feeling
and I don't know what to do.
I said that I would never again
let someone take my heart.
And here I'm sitting wanting you
and hate that we're apart.
Everyday you are in my thoughts,
every night you're in my dreams.
I can't believe what's happening,
is this really what it seems?
I know you're only wanting
to be the best of friends,
but I am asking you sincerely
if it's your rule you'll bend.
To take a chance to know me
to let me share it all.
And maybe one day very soon
for me one day you'll fall.
Our friendship we now have
is something that I'd miss
but maybe once we let go
we will find eternal bliss.

5 Ways to Make Your Lust Last

5 Ways to Make Your Lust Last

By Laura Snyder

Much as we love hot, quick have-to-have-you-now nookie, the trend we'd really like to inspire is for more all-night marathon sex.

If you're all for jumping on that particular bandwagon, here are 5 ways to try tonight.

Make it Last Move #1: Prolong the Preliminaries.

Foreplay should almost certainly last longer than it takes to unzip your pants. If your usual carnal customs are a kiss here, a grope there and then moving right on to the main attraction, try letting a little expectation build with some extended foreplay.

Make it Last Move #2: Mix Up Your Moves

Marathon coupling means more time to try new positions. And you'll need those breaks in the action give your bodies the breather necessary to stay on simmer, instead of boiling over. So next time the finish line is fast approaching, stop and do something else. Halt mid-coitus for a little light massage or pause to lock eyes and share a sexy grin. Then resume. There's a bonus: taking a break from the action, you'll add to the anticipation, leading to a more explosive finale.

Make it Last Move #3: Tame the Tempo

It's a reality you know all too well. The more rapid-fire he's reacting, the faster he'll finish. Ladies, take the opportunity to control his acceleration, but either taking a more active pace-setting position (where you're in control), or steady his rhythm into slowing down.

Make it Last Move #4: Try More Touches

Every time you introduce a new sensation - a nibble, a tickle, a quick squeeze - you create a tiny climax-delaying pause while your body adjusts to the novel feeling. Make sure in your effort to last longer, guys, that you don't deliberately leave out your member. Trying to delay your orgasm by ignoring your equipment will backfire, since all that inattention will make you more reactive when you do get touched. So, get your girl to prep you for lasting action with some mild attention to that pleasure center.

Make it Last Move #5: Take Turns

Sex shouldn't be goal-oriented, so if you're focused too much on slowing him down, or speeding her up, change the pace a bit to relieve the performance pressure. Don't lose sight of the real goal...being together.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The Science of Flirting

There are certain things you can do that might help your date go with a bang - and turn into something more serious.

Ditch the chat up lines

It can take between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if we fancy someone. But this has little to do with your smooth-talking. As far as attraction goes, here's how we get the message:

  • 55% is through body language
  • 38% is the tone and speed of our voice
  • Only 7% is through what we say
  • Eye

    Stare into each others' eyes
    New York psychologist, Professor Arthur Arun, has been studying the dynamics of what happens when people fall in love. He has shown that the simple act of staring into each other's eyes has a powerful impact.

    He asked two complete strangers to reveal to each other intimate details about their lives. This carried on for an hour and a half. The two strangers were then made to stare into each others eyes without talking for four minutes. Afterwards many of his couples confessed to feeling deeply attracted to their opposite number and two of his subjects even married afterwards.

    When we are aroused and interested in what we are looking at our pupils dilate. In medieval Italy, women put belladonna into their eyes to make them look bigger. In fact, bella donna means 'beautiful lady'. However, this is not recommended, as belladonna is a kind of poison!

    Match their moves

    When people are attracted to each other, they tend to sit or stand in the same way and copy each other's physical gestures. This is known as 'mirroring'. When someone does this, it marks good communication and shows us that our interest is reciprocated. Mirroring also happens when talking to close friends as well as potential lovers, so be careful as you may misread signs of friendship as signs of love.

    Don't play hard to get

    Research suggest that playing hard to get doesn't usually work. However, there is a theory that we tend to fancy people who are hard to get for everyone else, but easy for us to get.

    Scientists tested this 'selective difficulty' theory by using a computer dating experiment. One woman was keen to meet any of the dates that the computer selected for her. Another played hard to get and wasn't enthusiastic towards any of her computer matches. A third was selective and only showed interest in one of the candidates. Out of all three women, the choosy woman was the most preferred by all the male participants.

    Understanding lonely hearts ads

    If you wrote a lonely hearts ad, what would it say about you? Does the opposite sex find you more attractive if you describe yourself as sexy or successful, or wealthy or reliable?

    Arrow Discover the science behind the ads by taking our lonely hearts test.

    Bungee jumping

    Be dangerous

    Another experiment showed that if people experience fear on a date they often misinterpret that feeling as love. So dates at a theme park are likely to be successful. A bungee jump might seal your relationship for life!

    In fact, people who both like the same level of thrills and excitement are more likely to be compatible.

    Arrow Take our test on sensation seeking and see how your score relates to that of your part

    What Makes You Fancy Someone?

    Appearance could be another indicator of the quality of a person's genes. Research suggests that there are certain things we all look for - even if we don't know it.

    Symmetrical Face

    Perfect symmetry

    It is thought that asymmetrical features are a sign of underlying genetic problems. Numerous studies in humans have shown that men in particular go for women with symmetrical faces. The preference in women for symmetry is not quite so pronounced. Women are also looking for a man's ability to offer food and protection. This might not be indicated in their genes, but in their rank and status, for example.

    The hour-glass figure

    Studies have shown that men prefer women with a waist to hip ratio of 0.7. You can calculate your own using this formula:waist measurement ÷ hip measurement = ratio.

    This seems to apply whatever the woman's overall weight. A group of researchers even compared this ratio with the average ratio of Miss America winners over the years. It was exactly the same. This ratio would seem to make sense as an indicator of a woman's reproductive health. When women age their waist tends to become less pronounced as they put on fat around the stomach. This coincides with them becoming less fertile.

    Learn to love yourself

    Have you noticed how many married couples look quite similar? Studies have shown that more than anything we prefer somebody who looks just like we do. From a batch of individual photographs people can spot who are the couples with unnerving reliability.

    Try our Match-making quiz and give it a go!
    Ear Research has uncovered that there is a correlation in couples between their:
  • Lung volumes
  • Middle finger lengths
  • Ear lobe lengths
  • Overall ear size
  • Neck and wrist circumferences
  • Metabolic rates

  • Mummy's boys and Daddy's girls?
    The latest studies indicate that what people really, really want is a mate that looks like their parents. Women are after a man who is like their father and men want to be able to see their own mother in the woman of their dreams.

    At the University of St Andrews in Scotland, cognitive psychologist David Perrett studies what makes faces attractive. He has developed a computerised morphing system that can endlessly adjust faces to suit his needs.

    Students in his experiments are left to decide which face they fancy the most. Perrett has taken images of students' own faces and morphed them into the opposite sex. Of all the faces on offer, this seems to be the face that subject will always prefer. They can't recognize it as their own, they just know they like it.

    Perrett suggests that we find our own faces attractive because they remind us of the faces we looked at constantly in our early childhood years - Mum and Dad. Even the pheromone studies are now showing a preference for our parents' characteristics.

    Arrow Examine your ability to read faces and to find your perfect mate by taking our face perception test, developed by Professor David Perrett.

    Will it last?
    Unfortunately there's no way of telling for certain if a relationship will last. But there might be some clues in your partner's family!

    In studies of behavioral genetics it has been shown that a person's tendency to divorce is written in their genes. When scientists studied identical twins, they found that whatever their degree of marriage success was, they shared it with their sibling. Men who went through multiple marriages were highly likely to have a twin brother who did the same.

    The numbers game
    Perhaps the best indication as to whether your love will last come from statistical studies. Researchers have come up with several predictors for success. This is based on how you met and when, how you resolve conflict and how similar you and your expectations are.

    Sunday, February 12, 2006

    Judge Relaxes Courtney Love's Sentence, Lets Her Leave Treatment Facility

    Judge Relaxes Courtney Love's Sentence, Lets Her Leave Treatment Facility
    11.18.2005
    Singer is allowed to do time in outpatient program.
    Courtney Love
    Photo: Frank Micelotta/ Getty Images


    CoCourtney Love's made so much progress in her rehab stint that a Los Angeles judge relaxed the terms of her sentence a little bit on Friday (November 18). The singer is now allowed to do her time in an outpatient program instead of a residential treatment facility.

    Love was sent away for a six-month sentence in September as punishment for having violated her probation when a drug-related incident sent her to the hospital in July (see "Courtney Love Ordered Back To Rehab For Six Months"). Judge Rand Rubin told Love at the time that he had been planning to send her to jail but decided that treatment would be a better option.

    Even though Love's sentence is relaxed, she still faces certain restrictions. She's allowed to be at home but can only leave for limited, court-approved reasons, such as going to work, continuing her counseling sessions (three AA meetings a week), completing the terms of her community service and attending matters regarding her daughter's school. She was sentenced to 100 hours of community service and so far has completed just over half that (56 hours). Love also has a curfew — she's not allowed to be out past 10 p.m. And she's to continue to submit to random drug tests.

    Love's spent her time in rehab writing new music that she's calling "The Rehab Demos." According to an interview she gave to U.K. newspaper The Guardian, Love's written eight new songs using a Martin acoustic guitar that producer Linda Perry gave her six weeks ago. Song titles include "The Depths of My Despair," "My Bedroom Walls," "Sad But True" and "How Dirty Girls Get Clean."

    "I've had nothing but time in here," she told The Guardian. "There's not a lot of activities. You have to make your own fun, and my fun is my guitar, so I'm down to it and I have to really question what it is I do for a living. Primarily I do two things: I act and I sing, and if I don't do those things well, then I don't know what my objective is."

    During her forced isolation, Love's also lost weight, tried to quit smoking and tried to stop relying on prescription drugs. "Being fat is one of the worst things that ever happened to me," she said. "I was taking one particular [prescription] drug, which is supposed to calm you down. The side effect was it put 40 pounds on me in a matter of eight weeks. I just got fat and I couldn't work."

    Love has also returned to Buddhism to help her get through this period of her life.

    "That's the trick. That's the ticket," she said. "When I was 24, I was a Buddhist, and that was responsible for the success of Hole in the first place and [helped] after Kurt [Cobain] died. Right around the time I did 'The People vs. Larry Flynt,' I started chanting and then I stopped. This is the third time I've really committed myself. I really got pushed to the wall and I realized that I have to discover this tract of Buddhism to rediscover myself."

    Love's probation violation stems from three cases, two of which she struck plea agreements (see "Courtney Resolves Assault, Possession Cases With Plea Deal"). The cases involved charges of assault with a deadly weapon (which was reduced to misdemeanor assault with three years of probation), two felony counts of illegal possession of prescription painkillers (which was reduced to one misdemeanor count of possession of a forged or altered narcotic prescription with more probation), and being under the influence of those same prescription painkillers (for which she received a sentence of 18 months of drug treatment a year ago).

    Love is due back in court for another progress report on January 20.